Sunday, September 13, 2015

Twitterings, or News from the Regency Animal Kingdom

The Winter Solstice in the Current Time
By the Great White Cliffs^

Greetings to all my feathered, furry and hairy friends. In this issue of Twitterings, I, your humble Bird Enquirer, bring you all the latest on dits from the world of Animals. (At times such as these, I wish we Animals could read. Then we could all hear the scintillating news at the same time. But, alas, that is not to be. Since, as a Bird, I am constrained to provide the news by beak, at least I can fly to each of your gatherings, a swifter method of locomotion than running.)

And what are the juicy tidbits this time?

Once again, our friend, Machiavelli, Head Goose (indeed, the only goose) at Shaw Farm is at the top of the news. He abandoned Shaw Farm (gasp!) and traveled (flew? Nay, Machiavelli is much too weighty to fly) to the aviary on the estate of His Lordship*. There, he implemented a dastardly scheme to lure two of the aviary ducks to harm in the outside world. Luckily, the ducks, intelligent birds that they are (of course, ducks are intelligent. I, myself am a duck), saw through Machiavelli’s sweet words and protected themselves. They are now again safe in the aviary, returned there by His Lordship, who also brought Machiavelli back to His Mistress**.

There was something of a dustup then, because, as you can imagine, Machiavelli did not wish to return, and objected most vehemently, much to His Lordship’s chagrin. While I am sorry His Lordship suffered (nothing that could not be remedied) at Machiavelli’s hands (to borrow a Human phrase), I admit to a little quack of glee at a Human being bested by a Bird.

Nevertheless, that Machiavelli is quite the scoundrel. Who knows what other mischief he will engineer, especially since he and Sylvester the Fox are always at daggers drawn, and they have not had a confrontation in months?

In parting, I must issue a note of warning about the Humans. I do not often speak of Humans, since they cannot understand our speech, but this latest development requires our notice. By all accounts, His Lordship and Machiavelli’s Mistress have become enamored with each other. Where does that leave the aviary’s Head Keeper***, who also has a tendre for the female? Change may be in the wind for us Animals if the Human male and female seek to mate, especially if the males come to blows over the female, as males of all species are wont to do.

Be on your guard, and I will report whatever else I can garner about this situation.

Thank you, all. And until the next issue of Twitterings, I bid you adieu.
Your Bird Enquirer

^ December, 1805, Kent, England
* Robert, Baron Tyndall
** Miss Julia Shaw
*** Mr. William Borland

 Goosed! or A Fowl Christmas, The Feather Fables Book 1, is available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Smashwords, Kobo, Overdrive, Inktera and Apple Books.

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And don't forget Book 2 of The Feather Fables, Lord Lovely.

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Linda Root said...

'Do you suppose those birds in the Regency Animal Kingdom have any idea what kind of gossip passes between the 21 of us hens of the harem of Henry Crow in 2015?
'Oh Aye. They would hear us clucking 'Run fer yer lives, ladies, the King is coming.'
'Relax, Lady Orpingon. This time he's going after the Duchess of Penedescenca.'

Linda Banche said...

LOL, Linda!